Shift: Managing Your Emotions—So They Don't Manage You

Chapter 1 introduces readers to the fundamentals of emotion through the lens of Matt Maasdam, a Navy SEAL enduring the Navy’s grueling SERE (Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape) training. Kross uses Matt’s story to illustrate how emotions function not as obstacles to overcome but as essential signals that guide human experience. The author argues that Matt’s ability to acknowledge and work with both negative emotions and positive ones—embracing the full spectrum of emotional experiences rather than suppressing them—enabled him both to succeed in his military career and develop meaningful personal relationships.

The chapter establishes that emotions are near-constant companions in human life, with research showing that people experience emotions more than 90% of the time, often in complex, overlapping combinations. Kross challenges the cultural bias toward toxic positivity, arguing that negative emotions serve adaptive purposes evolved over millennia. Through scientific evidence, the chapter demonstrates that emotions involve coordinated responses, including physiological reactions, cognitive appraisals, and outward behaviors—all working together to help individuals navigate meaningful situations.

This framing of emotions as adaptive tools rather than hindrances represents a significant departure from popular self-help approaches that exclusively emphasize positive thinking. Kross contextualizes this perspective within the broader historical evolution of emotion science, noting that despite disagreements among researchers about exact mechanisms, emotions serve crucial functions in human life.